Treading Life's Waters

A Week in Review

Last night, a live band from a music lounge just off Jupiter Street was playing at a distance but the muffled sounds didn’t amount to much of either a melody or decipherable lyrics. I dozed off in bed while reading on my iPad. The strong downpour earlier in the evening brought some relief from the heat. I pulled the string from the overhead fan to switch to its lowest setting, a gentle soothing breeze cooled me. I slept with the windows open.

It was a good week.

Big items were checked off the list: real estate taxes were paid before the deadline, the installment plan for my mom’s credit card was processed and approved, and medical supplies were ordered in bulk. Minnie and Mel, two college friends whom I have not spoken to for over 30 years showed up and helped me navigate through the complex web of information and details involved in caregiving.

When I had a question about oxygen tanks and concentrators, where to get them, and how much they cost, Minnie took the time to dig through her mother’s files. She patiently explained to me the pros and cons and how her mother utilized them during her illness. She also shared the names of her “suki, ” a colloquial term that is often used to refer to a regular or frequent customer or patron, in case I needed it.

When the bulk ordering process became too overwhelming, I reached out to Mel upon Ate Marica’s suggestion. She and her sister, Tina took care of their parents and had a wealth of knowledge I could tap into. I reached out via text for an initial inquiry but Mel unexpectedly went above and beyond. Not only did she offer to handle all the ordering online, but she would deliver the supplies to our home tomorrow.

God-sent.

I know deep down in my spirit, that this is where the Lord wants me to be. And, He has shown time and time again that He always provides.¹

Philippians 4:19: And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

It may seem like a small list of accomplishments, dear readers, but doing transactions in the Philippines is no small feat. Every friction you can imagine is still alive and well here. I won’t get into details for it will run the entire length of this post.

As my dad always says, “Adjustment lang,” It means to temper your expectations and adjust them accordingly when I am at home.

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Mom is making some headway with her mobility. She managed thrice this past week to slowly amble the long corridor using a walker toward Dad’s room. When I arrived three weeks ago, she was still bedridden and weak from her hospitalization in July. It takes a good amount of prodding though to get her to exercise. She is either glued to her mobile phone listening to Catholic masses online or watching UAAP basketball games on TV.

“Sige ka, Mom. Dadalawin ka ni Sr. Clotilde at i-coconfiscate yang phone mo,” I joked. (C’mon Mom, Sr. Clotilde will visit you from the grave and confiscate your phone).

“Ay, wag naman!” she responds with a nervous laugh. (Oh, I hope not!)

Sr. Clotilde was a strict disciplinarian but a well-loved nun from her high school days. My mom, aunts, and their friends have told countless stories through the years of how she always managed to outsmart and out-maneuver her students, catching them off guard at their most boisterous state. After retiring from teaching they remained in touch for decades.

Portrait of Mom with Sister Clotilde. Photograph by Stella Kalaw

Several minutes passed.

“Ma’am, pinagbilin din po ni Sir GT na kulitin ka po para maglakad, “ Rochelle, my mom’s caregiver, chimes in. (Ma’am, Sir GT made me promise to remind you to walk).

Mom looks up from her phone and turns her head toward Rochelle.

“Ay, talaga?” (Really?)

“Yes, po!”

Mom pauses and smiles at the thought. Her gaze returns to her phone.

More minutes passed.

“Sige na, Mom. I’ll take pictures so I can show sina Ate Marica (my siblings and my niece Marina) that you are making progress,” I added.

She laughs again.

Finally, I turn to Rochelle and recounted a story which might inch Mom closer to agreeing to exercise.

During her senior year in college, one subject hindered her from graduation: Physical Education. To pass, all she had to do was jump in the deep end of the pool and tread for 5-10 minutes. She was absolutely terrified. No amount of pep talk from her friends could convince her to do it. Finally, my Lolo (grandfather) intervened. He took the day off from his job, drove to the university, put on his swimming trunks, and got into the pool. She was floored.

“Bakit ka natatakot? e, nandito naman ako. Sasaluhin naman kita,” he repeatedly assured her while staying afloat waiting for Mom to jump. (Why are you afraid? I’m here. I will catch you.) Lolo recalled looking at his wrinkled fingers while continuing to convince my mother. Eventually, she took the plunge and was able to graduate.

“See Mom? If you were able to jump in the pool, you can also walk to Dad’s room,” I said.

“Oo, nga, ano?” she replied while nodding her head. (I guess you are right).

“Pero, matagal na yun,” she reasoned. (But that was a long time ago).

“Kahit na, Mom. Kaya mo ito!” I prodded. (Still, you can do this!)

Finally, she sighs and knows deep down she needs the exercise.

“O sige na nga.” (Alright, let’s do it).

120 steps today, progress! Photograph by Stella Kalaw

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My dad reads the newspaper daily. He skims the headlines and pages through every section. It doesn’t take long before he falls asleep. I asked Leslie to gather some old ones and I managed to only create one collage. It’s not my best work but the process was more important than the output.

I also remembered a post

Kenshō studio

² shared on Notes and decided to do the same with the old newspapers. I cut out random words and collected them in a folder. Later in the week, I sat down to compose a few lines and this was the result of my experiment.

During quiet times, when my parents are both asleep during the day, I write in my journal or read a novel. I’ve also started to update my portfolio.

Writing and creating art is sustenance. It keeps me grounded. I can’t imagine living without it.

See you all next Sunday!

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