October Medley

Self-care, a relic from the past, and a poem

Digital Collage by Stella Kalaw. (Image: AI-generated via Canva)

Yesterday, I had a scalp treatment in addition to a haircut at Bench Fix in Serendra. At first, I hesitated thinking how indulgent it seemed to avail of such a treat. But I quickly changed my mind. It had been 30 days since I arrived from San Francisco and have diligently attended to my parents’ needs, managing their household and their caregivers. 

Why not, right?

Bong, portly and almost 6 feet tall, worked her magic. First, she took a brush and applied a mentholy cool gel on my scalp. Next, she gently thumbed my temples and kneaded my head in circular motions with her fingertips. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply as she repeated this soothing process. Afterward, she massaged my shoulders, her thumbs applying firm pressure between my shoulder blades and spine. I was on the verge of falling asleep when she offered me a few magazines to read. Having been away for 31 years, I browsed through them fairly quickly only to pause when I recognized a few names and faces. I learned that one of Lotlot De Leon’s daughters, Janine Gutierrez, is now an actress/model, and Fernando Poe, Jr. has another daughter named Lovi, half-sister to Mary Grace who was a classmate in grade school. Another issue featured fashion spreads with black and white photographs of Tweetie de Leon and Apples Aberin, both in their 50s and as beautiful as I remembered them. After Bong washed off the gel and blow-dried my hair, Miss Belle further trimmed the two cowlicks at the back of my head and refined the hair contour behind my ears and nape. I came out of the salon refreshed. It was one of the best $34 I’ve ever spent!

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Stella's Grade IV Stamp Collection

Tucked deep in the bookshelves in Ate Marica’s room, I discovered my fourth-grade stamp collection folder. It was a fascinating find— a time capsule from the early to mid-70s in Manila featuring heroes or bayani from the history of the Philippines, symbols of Catholicism, institutional organizations and buildings popular during the Martial Law era, and a portrait of First Lady, Imelda Marcos.

In those days, we recycled folders. On the opposite side, where I affixed the stamps, I stapled a Xerox copy of a piano piece titled "Energy" by Bela Bartók. My music teacher, Mrs. Larracas, praised my sturdy wrists and handpicked a selection of pieces to highlight this strength. She’d play a few bars from each one until I chose something that I liked. Our sessions took place in her compact living room, with the upright piano dominating one side of the wall. I vividly remember her deep, raspy voice as she coached and guided my fingers through the keyboard. Smoke curled from her cigarette and an ashtray was always nearby. It's fascinating how a relic from the past can stir up long-forgotten memories. In fact, I can still perform two of the pieces she taught me today.

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My parents are typically asleep during the day. When I check on them in their rooms, I often chat with their caregivers, hearing stories about their families, spouses, or children. Grace, my dad's caregiver, revealed her passion for poetry when she found out I write a newsletter. She composes poems whenever inspiration strikes, usually during the quiet hours when her patients are asleep or in the early morning. With her permission, I'm sharing one of her poems with you.

A Rope of Patience

Every day of your life…
Lengthen your rope of patience!
Ask God to help you keep it strong…
As strong as an ox–
Or as strong as a horse.

If your rope of patience is almost on the edge,
Lengthen it by keeping calm and humble.
If your rope of patience is breaking,
Knot it with prayer and hold on!
If your rope of patience is like an entangled hair,
Lay in on the table and sort it one by one.
If your rope of patience is brittle,
Choose the strong ones!
Then keep it lengthy by tying it over again…
And, as lengthy as your journey.

By: mgmsalomes, 2019

Beautiful isn’t it? Grace’s poem captures the essence of what it takes to dedicate one’s life to serving others. When I asked all of them how they manage themselves day in and day out, she answered:

“Pag pinasukan mo itong profession na ito, kailangan ang patience mo kasing haba ng buhay ng pasyente,” (If you enter this profession, your patience should be as long as the patient’s life.)

To me, caregivers, especially the exceptional ones, are like earthly angels. My family deeply appreciates their dedication and patience as we navigate this chapter in our lives. They are truly a gift from above.

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I’ll end this post with a quote that appeared in my inbox this week:

One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak.

—G.K. Chesterton

Your turn dear readers, let me know if anything I shared today resonated with you. Let’s meet each other in the comments section below.

See you all next Sunday!