I've been staring at the cursor for a long time, unsure how to begin this post. Piecing my life back together after Ate Marica’s passing feels daunting. Creating art—specifically collaging—kept me steady as the ground beneath me fell during the lockdown in 2020. Now, as I navigate life and loss, I’m leaning into it once again.
Februllage, a monthly initiative to create a collage a day from list of daily word prompts, started on the same day as Ate Marica’s funeral. That evening, after wiping my tears, I created this piece, something reminiscent of our childhood together.
When I excitedly announced last December that I was a finalist for an artist-in-residence program, Ate Marica cried tears of joy. “Finally, some good news!” she said, in the midst of receiving one unsettling medical report after another.
Unfortunately, I completely missed the opportunity when she fell critically ill the same week as my scheduled interview. The organizers were understanding when I explained my situation and even offered to reschedule, but it was the week of her wake and funeral.
I let it go. There is a season for everything. I believe that God and the universe guide us to where we need to be. Deep in my heart, I know something better will come. I had even secured a contract project last December, but it fell through at the last minute. Still, there’s nowhere I would rather have been than by Ate Marica’s side and with my family.
In the meantime, I am finding my footing again, one collage at a time. I look forward to the daily prompt, and having a routine provides the gentle steadiness I need as I move through my grief. Ate Marica would have wanted me to keep going—to bring joy, humor, and a lightness of spirit through my art.
I remind myself of that every day.
If you want to join or just to view more collages, here is the link to this year’s Februllage. As always, let’s meet each other in the comments section below. Let me know what collage sparks joy or puts a smile on your face.
Related Post:
March Medley
At my last job, I had the opportunity to explore and curate Ezra Stoller’s images through the Esto Archives for the company’s inspiration tool. I was not familiar with him until I saw his iconic black-and-white photographs of Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater and the Guggenheim Museum
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Beautiful words and art - a real treat. I haven't been very present on Substack, and am so grateful that this post was waiting for me to read.
Sending sunshine, smiles and strength to you, Stella. ❤️
Your art is wonderful and will be recognized. I stumbled across Februllage and have been delighted to see each day's responses and have tried a few though I am a writer first and a collage dabbler merely as creative fuel and therapy.