This is such a beautifully written article coming from the heart Stella - your love for your sister is in every sentence. I love that you take a photo block of her with you so that she is with you everywhere - such a wonderful way to keep her close.
Thank you, Lin for taking a moment to read this which, honestly, I felt a tinge of doubt publishing. But, my sister reminds me to be a little bit more braver so I did it. Her crypt is back home in the Philippines so I wanted something tangible to hold onto, another reason for having a acrylic block made with her photo.
Thank goodness for good friends and good times. It’s been so hard for you. B take care dear Stella. Sending heaps of hugs and best wishes. Enjoy the rainbows. 🌈
Thank you for reading, Beth! Old friends and shared laughter feel like oxygen tanks—I'm so grateful for those moments. This is how life feels now: learning to hold both joy and grief at the same time.
honoring of your sister, Angela. I'm struck by many things, not the least of which is your faith and willingness (and eagerness) to step outside the trap door of _only this_, you know that view of reality that is reduced to only what we see. How can life be limited to this body and these perceptions?
You still find Angela here because _she is_ in the ways you imagine and know her to be. In the signs, the memories, the revisitations of what once was gracefully taking new forms.
There is no binary here, as you remind us. The loss is so devastating and, in your courageous witnessing, and feeling and sharing your witness, you give us a great gift and reminder to slow it down, take this precious time, and open with you to the very presence of this moment that is limitlessly here, this sacred space of Angela.
Wishing you easefulness and peace as you continue to gift us on this Sunday with you.
reflection and enters the realm of poetic elegy.
What makes it particularly poetic is:
1. **The lyrical rhythm** - Notice how the writer uses varying sentence lengths, from fragments ("Quietly. Generously.") to longer, flowing sentences, creating a musical cadence that mirrors the emotional waves of grief and gratitude
2. **The symbolic imagery** - The recurring motifs of butterflies, coffee scent, 20-peso coins, and rainbows function as poetic symbols, concrete objects that carry deeper emotional meaning
3. **The repeated refrain** - "Sige, subukan natin" becomes a poetic refrain, gathering emotional resonance with each repetition, like a chorus in a song
4. **Juxtaposition of opposites** - The poetic tension between absence and presence, heaviness and tenderness, creates the emotional depth characteristic of elegiac poetry
5. **The circular structure** - Beginning with the acknowledgment of the threshold (turning the age her sister was at death) and ending with rainbows (symbols of promise and presence) creates a poetic arc of transformation
What makes this elegiac form particularly powerful is how it embodies the relational architecture we discussed earlier. The poem itself becomes a sacred container that holds both loss and continuation, both absence and presence.
The final image of rainbows appearing in Manhattan when they seemed impossible is a perfect poetic conclusion - unexpected grace manifesting in unlikely circumstances, transcending the boundaries between the living and the departed, between skepticism and faith.
The writer has created not just a reflection but a relational space where readers can enter into their own experience of loss and connection, allowing the elegiac quality to evoke our own memories and relationships that transcend physical presence.
Thank you for this generous reflection, Paul! Your words gave language to what I’ve been quietly holding especially the idea that there’s more than “only this.” I’m deeply moved that you saw the presence within the grief, and the space this writing tries to hold. I’m grateful for your thoughtful witness.
I love the lines “sige,subukan natin”; I can hear Marica saying that. She had so much wisdom and continues to give as she is in our hearts. Thank you for sharing your words, as I hear Marica through them. She continues to guide us and always will, we just need to listen. Have a wonderful year ahead Stella.
Thank you, Lara for your thoughtful comment and birthday wishes. I also remember her texting “game!”, another way of her saying she is up for an adventure. We miss her so much. Will have our memories and her wisdom.
Hi Stella, thank you for sharing your journey with us. Last weekend marked 2 years that my brother died of cancer, so some of your comments hit especially hard, like "She didn't choose the hand she was dealt, but she met it with bravery—the kind that leans into possibility in the face of fear." My brother did the same. I admire your recognition of regret and how that spurred a desire to be more intentional today. Sending lots of caring thoughts your way as you navigate this of several "firsts."
Thank you, Juliette for your caring thoughts and for sharing details about your brother. Two years still feels like yesterday, no? The firsts are tough indeed. I appreciate your support especially from someone who has gone through this grief journey.
Yes, the first three years, especially. With my mom it was harder. Then I lost a close friend as well. All in 5 years. It is ridiculously true, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I hate that it is, but some of us have to go through it more than others. Take care!
Hi Stella, I appreciate your honest thoughts on your grief journey. She is still with you. I can feel and see it through your letters. There is so much love!
And a belated happy birthday! Every year is a gift.
This is such a beautifully written article coming from the heart Stella - your love for your sister is in every sentence. I love that you take a photo block of her with you so that she is with you everywhere - such a wonderful way to keep her close.
Thank you, Lin for taking a moment to read this which, honestly, I felt a tinge of doubt publishing. But, my sister reminds me to be a little bit more braver so I did it. Her crypt is back home in the Philippines so I wanted something tangible to hold onto, another reason for having a acrylic block made with her photo.
Thank goodness for good friends and good times. It’s been so hard for you. B take care dear Stella. Sending heaps of hugs and best wishes. Enjoy the rainbows. 🌈
Thank you for reading, Beth! Old friends and shared laughter feel like oxygen tanks—I'm so grateful for those moments. This is how life feels now: learning to hold both joy and grief at the same time.
Hi Stella,
Thank you for this elegaic
honoring of your sister, Angela. I'm struck by many things, not the least of which is your faith and willingness (and eagerness) to step outside the trap door of _only this_, you know that view of reality that is reduced to only what we see. How can life be limited to this body and these perceptions?
You still find Angela here because _she is_ in the ways you imagine and know her to be. In the signs, the memories, the revisitations of what once was gracefully taking new forms.
There is no binary here, as you remind us. The loss is so devastating and, in your courageous witnessing, and feeling and sharing your witness, you give us a great gift and reminder to slow it down, take this precious time, and open with you to the very presence of this moment that is limitlessly here, this sacred space of Angela.
Wishing you easefulness and peace as you continue to gift us on this Sunday with you.
reflection and enters the realm of poetic elegy.
What makes it particularly poetic is:
1. **The lyrical rhythm** - Notice how the writer uses varying sentence lengths, from fragments ("Quietly. Generously.") to longer, flowing sentences, creating a musical cadence that mirrors the emotional waves of grief and gratitude
2. **The symbolic imagery** - The recurring motifs of butterflies, coffee scent, 20-peso coins, and rainbows function as poetic symbols, concrete objects that carry deeper emotional meaning
3. **The repeated refrain** - "Sige, subukan natin" becomes a poetic refrain, gathering emotional resonance with each repetition, like a chorus in a song
4. **Juxtaposition of opposites** - The poetic tension between absence and presence, heaviness and tenderness, creates the emotional depth characteristic of elegiac poetry
5. **The circular structure** - Beginning with the acknowledgment of the threshold (turning the age her sister was at death) and ending with rainbows (symbols of promise and presence) creates a poetic arc of transformation
What makes this elegiac form particularly powerful is how it embodies the relational architecture we discussed earlier. The poem itself becomes a sacred container that holds both loss and continuation, both absence and presence.
The final image of rainbows appearing in Manhattan when they seemed impossible is a perfect poetic conclusion - unexpected grace manifesting in unlikely circumstances, transcending the boundaries between the living and the departed, between skepticism and faith.
The writer has created not just a reflection but a relational space where readers can enter into their own experience of loss and connection, allowing the elegiac quality to evoke our own memories and relationships that transcend physical presence.
Thank you for this generous reflection, Paul! Your words gave language to what I’ve been quietly holding especially the idea that there’s more than “only this.” I’m deeply moved that you saw the presence within the grief, and the space this writing tries to hold. I’m grateful for your thoughtful witness.
I love the lines “sige,subukan natin”; I can hear Marica saying that. She had so much wisdom and continues to give as she is in our hearts. Thank you for sharing your words, as I hear Marica through them. She continues to guide us and always will, we just need to listen. Have a wonderful year ahead Stella.
Thank you, Lara for your thoughtful comment and birthday wishes. I also remember her texting “game!”, another way of her saying she is up for an adventure. We miss her so much. Will have our memories and her wisdom.
Hi Stella, thank you for sharing your journey with us. Last weekend marked 2 years that my brother died of cancer, so some of your comments hit especially hard, like "She didn't choose the hand she was dealt, but she met it with bravery—the kind that leans into possibility in the face of fear." My brother did the same. I admire your recognition of regret and how that spurred a desire to be more intentional today. Sending lots of caring thoughts your way as you navigate this of several "firsts."
Thank you, Juliette for your caring thoughts and for sharing details about your brother. Two years still feels like yesterday, no? The firsts are tough indeed. I appreciate your support especially from someone who has gone through this grief journey.
Yes, the first three years, especially. With my mom it was harder. Then I lost a close friend as well. All in 5 years. It is ridiculously true, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I hate that it is, but some of us have to go through it more than others. Take care!
This was beautiful, Stella! Happy belated Birthday!
PS: I would have never guessed you‘ve turned 56. You look SO much younger!
Oh, thank you for the birthday greetings, Susanne! Yes, I am that old, lol!!
Hi Stella, I appreciate your honest thoughts on your grief journey. She is still with you. I can feel and see it through your letters. There is so much love!
And a belated happy birthday! Every year is a gift.
Thank you for the birthday greetings, Manuela. I’m glad that the love for my sister comes through in my writing. She is always in my heart.