I put down Laura Lynne Jackson’s book, Signs, on my lap and rubbed my chin with my fingers. My friend Erika had lent it to me a few weeks back, saying it had helped her with grief after her aunt passed. It had been over a month since we witnessed a yellow butterfly pass between my sister Malyn and our cousin Donch in the pool, before making its way to the glass patio door—fluttering excitedly as I opened it. Undoubtedly, that was Ate Marica letting us know she was with us.
But, was that a one-time thing?
Although I know, in theory, that we remain connected to our loved ones after they pass, I felt a longing, a need for something tangible, to wholeheartedly believe it was true.
One afternoon, as I waited for the green light to turn onto Hollis Street, particles floated in the air after I yanked a tissue to wipe my tears. The afternoon light, angled just right, seemed to transform them into magic dust. The phrase “she is everywhere” entered my mind as I continued to marvel at the floating specks.
Could she be in these particles? What form does she take to make her presence known in the world now that she’s in the spiritual realm?
I wrote down these questions in my journal that evening before going to bed.
Sometimes on our walks to the marina, I talk to her in my mind. Once, I said to her, It’s been a while since you’ve sent us a sign. Remember we asked for whiskey? Maybe you can show us so I know you hear me.
It seemed rather impossible for something like whiskey to cross my path. I don’t go to bars, I don’t drink, and my feeds are all about healthy eating. So I was a bit doubtful she would make it happen.
A few days later, our friend Suiee texted Malyn a photo taken in October 2022 and shared it in our group chat. In it, they’re toasting—glencairn glasses in hand, three whiskey bottles on the table. They had shared a meal and were doing a tasting together in his home.
My jaw dropped. That was good! I was thrilled to see the picture first thing in the morning. However, one week passed and doubt began to creep in. I couldn’t help but think it might have been just a coincidence—that I was putting too much meaning into the moment. I’m a typical, stubborn Taurus, so of course, I needed more proof.
This week, as her birthday approached, I spoke to her again during our morning walk. Okay, Ats, why don’t you show me a peso coin and put it in an unusual spot? I could almost imagine her rolling her eyes and shaking her head. I knew I was kind of pushing it with my request.
I actually got the idea from Laura’s book. “Coins too—since they consist of metal—have a level of conductivity that seems to make them easy targets for the Other Side,” she writes. “Look for coins appearing in unlikely places or at unlikely times.”
On the morning of her birthday, I drove to a nearby church to hear Mass. While waiting at a stoplight, I reached into my puffer jacket, feeling around for a tissue, anticipating that a crying bout might come at any moment. My fingers stopped at something solid in one of the inner pockets. I reached in and—lo and behold—it was a 20-peso coin!
I was floored.
I had worn this jacket yesterday and the day before, and there hadn’t been a coin in any of the pockets—let alone, a peso coin. I’ve never even brought this jacket to Manila.
Clutching the peso in one hand, tears fell. I thanked Ate profusely for indulging me with this request. Then I quickly slipped it back into my pocket and continued on my way to church.
That afternoon, alone at home, I cranked up Spotify on my desktop and played a Barry Manilow playlist. Last year, Malyn and Ate went to his concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Malyn said Barry would play just a few notes, and she already knew what song he was about to sing.
When I arrived in Manila last May, she had his music blasting from her computer, telling me how much she enjoyed the concert. I remember as teenagers, sitting side by side on the piano bench in our study room, singing 'Daybreak' as she played.
So there I was—singing it alone, laughing and crying at the same time, as all the memories came rushing back.
I also shared a collage online that I had been working on for several days in honor of Ate Marica’s birthday. The idea had taken shape around a question I couldn’t stop thinking about: Wouldn’t it be great if I could just make a phone call to heaven and have a conversation with her?
I had woken up early for two consecutive mornings, fiddling with alignments, testing color combinations, and adjusting tones on my iPhone. I was especially focused on getting the God rays just right—nudging them ever so slightly until they felt perfect.
I went to bed that evening feeling at peace, knowing I had done my best to remember her birthday. I expressed my gratitude in prayer.
The biggest and most unexpected sign came the next morning. Just an hour after daybreak, Tina and I were walking along the greenway when I noticed something in the sky from a distance. As we reached the end of the path, I squinted—I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Is that what I think it is? Are those rays forming in the clouds?
I pulled out my iPhone from my jacket pocket and took a few photos, just to have a record for myself. The lyrics of Daybreak began to roll in my mind:
But it's daybreak, if you want to believe
It can be daybreak, ain't no time to grieve
Said it's daybreak if you'll only believe
And let it shine, shine, shine
All around the world.
Every doubt I had was erased in that moment. As I marveled at the sky, she showed me undeniable signs that she was right there beside me, heard me sing the day before, answered the phone call in my collage, and slipped the peso coin in my jacket pocket. I wiped away my tears and kept whispering, Thank you, Ate—thank you. Naniniwala na ako. (I believe you).
Our loved ones on the Other Side send us signs designed to make us think of them. They do so to remind us that they are still connected to us in very real and powerful ways. The love that bound us here on earth continues to connect us after they’ve crossed. The interests we shared, the joys we had in common, the memories that make us laugh— these are all part of the ongoing and everlasting connection between us and the Other Side.
–Laura Lynne Jackson
Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe
I ask you, dear readers, do you believe in signs? Or have you encountered signs in your life that changed the trajectory of your life? Let’s meet each other in the comments section below.
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These collages are extraordinary, Stella. Even before I read your words, I felt them deeply. The one with the latte art, 1.0, is my favorite. That little heart adds so much...
To answer your question: Absolutely, yes, 100%. 💖
Have you read The Light Between Us?
Stella, thank you for sharing this! I do believe in signs, but also often doubt that I am interpreting things the right way or maybe I am seeing something that is not there.
But, I never doubt that it is real for other people. :)
The rays at the end of the post are powerful!
We probably receive more signs than we think we do.