Light, Longing and Resilience

The Hidden Beauty of an Urban Landscape

Isn’t that light incredible?

I've often daydreamed about capturing this view, showcasing the apex of the Transamerica building with my Hasselblad camera—the same view I mentioned in last Sunday’s post. However, my day job in a fast-paced office, where my performance was gauged by the daily distribution of sales leads, made this aspiration downright impossible. I envisioned the horrified expressions on my direct supervisors' faces if they were to witness me photographing with my tripod stationed in front of the window. Meanwhile, my backpack, containing rolls of film, a few lenses, a light meter, and camera backs, sprawled out next to me as sales leads accumulated on my dashboard by the minute.

I kept dismissing the idea but my longing grew as months passed. 

My eyes would perk up like a red blip on a radar whenever the weather’s unpredictable nature blanketed the cityscape. I immediately noticed the ambient light’s subtle shifts at my pod. Swiveling my chair to face the window confirmed my instinct. I was certain something magical would unfold once the dance between the sunlight and the clouds began. Walking a few paces to the window, I indeed witnessed a dramatic performance.

A mental battle festers inside of me at these kinds of junctures. Do I succumb to my circumstance or do I find a way to nourish my soul? I remembered the walls from The Last Lecture that professor Randy Pausch’s gave before he passed away from cancer. He said, “ The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough.” 

Here’s the truth behind my dilemma: Nurturing my inner being matters. That’s the reason for wanting it badly. Every action, no matter how small, such as capturing this urban landscape, serves as a way to sustain my creative spirit. Disregarding it would have been a victory handed to the lifelong critics that linger inside my head. When the desire to photograph is palpable, I embrace it. That's how I keep moving forward. The same holds true for any creative endeavor.

December rolled in, and with it, the flow of sales leads dwindled to a trickle signaling the begining of the slow season for the managers. It was the opportune time to make some photographs. Resourcefulness came into play when I had to navigate around the wall. Armed only with my Ipod camera, I envisioned the scene as if I were shooting with a Hasselblad. Despite not achieving the desired quality output, the core principles of capturing light and shadow remained unchanged. Pressing the camera onto the glass to minimize reflections, I patiently waited for the dance to begin. Although this urban setting wasn't the most spectacular viewpoint of the iconic San Francisco landmark, the brooding skies revealed its hidden beauty.

Your turn, dear ones. Tell me, what was on your mind when you saw the light in these photographs? What keeps you going when you are faced with a wall that seems unsurmountable? As always, let’s meet each other in the comments section below.

See you all next Sunday!