Page loading issues plagued the batch of images I was working on all week. Although a number of bug reports were sent to the Engineering team, the problem persisted. I suspected that Mercury Retrograde was within our midst. Sure enough, I checked online and it started yesterday. The upside: the broken tool led to a less rigid pace and enabled me to finish early yesterday.
Some free time opened up so I wrote in my journal. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for my job. For those of you new to Sundays with Stella, I became a full-time Curator/Photo Editor at an exciting tech company in February. The role is remote, which allowed me to work from Paris last month. After being laid off at Airbnb due to the pandemic in 2020, I was unemployed for nearly three years. It's been a long journey to finally align myself with photography and the flexibility to work from home.
There was a time in my life when I was saddled with student loans and a huge credit card debt. I was broke. I was literally scrouging for bus fare at our Treasure Island apartment. My photography business couldn't withstand the recession in 2000. I had to give up the studio and darkroom I rented in the city. I felt despondent for several months until I saw a video of Oprah saying that failure is God whispering, you are going in the wrong direction. Something inside me shifted after hearing her message. That evening, I knelt and prayed, “Ok, God. I don’t know where to go so lead the way.”
God planted me in the basement for 8 years. I worked at the San Francisco Marriott Marquis as a Group Reservations Coordinator. The 1,500-room property opened on the day of the 1989 6.9 magnitude Loma Prieta earthquake. Rollers were installed in its foundation so the 39-story building survived. The Reservations office was located four floors below the lobby. It’s called B4 which is a shortcut for Basement 4. Fear gripped me as I entered the elevator with Sara for my job interview. I remember my mother’s high school friend attended a conference at the Hyatt Terraces in Baguio when the building collapsed from the 7.7 earthquake in the Philippines back in 1990. She was one of the 80 fatalities that day.
The L-shaped, windowless office was lit by overhead fluorescent lights. Two rows of desks, five on each side, were opposite the whiteboard. Mine was at the back of the room. I felt claustrophobic for a few weeks. I changed my computer's home screen to a beach scene but it didn't alleviate my anxiety. So, I turned to prayer: "God, you led me to this place. Please help me." I woke up one day and it disappeared.
The office was adjacent to the hotel's parking lot. During holidays, the valets would sometimes speed up the ramp, emitting carbon monoxide fumes that seeped through the hallways and into the office.
Once, I returned from the cafeteria and a blackout occurred. The entire floor plunged into darkness. My heart raced when I held my hand in front of my face and couldn’t see my fingers.
“Oh, shit,” Michael, who sat next to me, blurted out.
He fumbled for his mobile phone and switched on the flashlight. Though it was only a few minutes, it felt like an eternity before the emergency lights came on.
When I got healthy a few years later, I trained myself to walk up the fire escape route without panting. It was five flights of stairs leading to one of the side exits of the building. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to prepare in case of another earthquake. My mother’s friend was always at the back of my mind.
Sometimes, you think you’re being buried when you’re being planted. God is using this season to grow you.
–Christine Caine
During my 8 years at the hotel, God taught me the value of self-discipline. Despite my modest salary, I managed to pay off all my debts, save for my 401K, and build an emergency fund. Through His guidance, I learned how to overcome my fears and grow my faith, relying on Him during times of uncertainty and impatience. Despite the long stretches “in the valley,” I found solace at the nearby St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. I poured my longings and frustration to Him. Sometimes, just sitting in the pew in silence comforted me. When I faced a health crisis, He not only healed my body but restored my soul. Most of all, He taught me to seek gratitude for all the things I have in my life. It is a practice I continue to this day.
Life threw me a curveball and I spent 8 arduous years in the basement. I couldn't see the purpose of it as I struggled through each day. But when I finally emerged, I had gained an intimate relationship with God and I was transformed in ways I never thought possible.
Your turn, dear readers. If you would like to share your thoughts on faith, transformation, and/or healing, please share them in the comments section below. I’d love to read them!
Thank you so much for sticking with me and I’ll see you all next Sunday!
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Eight Years in the Basement
I connected deeply to your story, Stella. For me, it was fifteen years of just trusting in a higher power that my life will come together at the end of all that hardship. Would I go through all that again? I hope not. But I am grateful that it happened because it made me a better person.
Thanks for sharing a bit about your faith and being vulnerable. I’m spiritual but not religious. I believe we connect with through love, art, and nature. I do think we are guided by the divine, if we’re open to being guided.