Creating Memories and Sibling Bonds
Celebrating GT's birthday in Hudson, NY.
Hello, dear ones!
I am back. How have you all been? it’s the first weekend of summer. I hope you are in good spirits, taking some quality time for yourself, and slowly getting into the season’s cadence.
Thank you so much to those who joined me on Substack Chat over the past two weeks. I enjoyed sharing photographs and hearing from you along the way. I know it wasn’t for everyone but for those who are curious, feel free to check it out.
In 2020, we were supposed to celebrate GT's 50th birthday in Paris and Slovakia. We purchased early tickets in February to take advantage of cheaper fares. However, the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns the following month thwarted our plans. During that time, my sister Malyn and our relative Swasi rented an apartment in Hudson, NY to escape the confines of their apartments in Manhattan. Over time, they developed a deep affection for the area. Instead of renewing their yearly lease last year, they decided to invest together in a beautiful cottage with a spacious backyard. To make up for GT's missed birthday celebration, we chose to gather in Hudson. It was a time of togetherness, without any fixed itineraries.
Having lived apart for years, my family is accustomed to travel routines. Like a well-oiled machine, our over-achieving personalities shine in this area. Packing and unpacking are bonding moments for us. On the day we left for Hudson, we had all our bags ready for GT to skillfully load the bell cart we borrowed from the front desk at Malyn's apartment in Manhattan. Large pieces of luggage lined the bottom like folders on a shelf, followed by midsized to small bags that he strategically stacked to prevent them from falling out. He used the hanger bars for the oversized Fresh Direct bag carrying our provisions and to hang other loosely shaped sacks. He did it in one load. With a soft tire, maneuvering the cart along the long hallway, across the lobby, and toward the building's entrance required teamwork. Ate Marica was already parked in front. We folded the back seat of the rented SUV and GT, with Malyn’s help, juggled to fit everything in.
Last year in Saratoga Springs, we moved my niece Marina out of her dorm after the graduation commencement was over. The temperature rose to 92°F, marking the hottest day of our trip. We hauled large plastic storage bins, bedding, and assorted bags to the rented van in the sweltering heat. Hudson, our home base, was an hour away, so fitting everything in without a second trip was crucial. With GT’s guidance, we utilized every nook and cranny of the 7-person Dodge Caravan. It was a tremendous feat to cram all of Marina's belongings and accommodate five of us in the van! The work didn’t stop there. We had to haul most of it up a flight of stairs when we reached Hudson. After we helped Marina split her stuff, the van had to be loaded once again this time with the addition of our personal luggage. When we arrived in Manhattan, we borrowed two baggage carts. Team Kalaw got the job done!
Unfortunately, Marina had work commitments so the four of us drove up to Hudson without her. She took the Amtrak train and joined us the next day. Our 2-hour road trip was accompanied by a soundtrack of 80s and 90s music. We laughed and reminisced just like in old times.
The roomy kitchen served as a perfect gathering place for us and the three friends Malyn invited for the weekend: Kits, Bobwen and Carina. Equally cherished was the backyard patio, unanimously voted as our favorite part of the cottage. We set up a foldable table and improvised chairs. Malyn repurposed decorations from a previous birthday event. Bobwen and Carina bought outdoor lights and installed them while Ate Marica and I put up the magnetic screens in front of the door between the kitchen and the patio.
The celebration was a delightful blend of simplicity and joy. We watched the Flag Day parade on Saturday and caught the last minutes of the fireworks display down by the waterfront later that evening. Sunday took us to the vibrant farmer's market for fresh produce and meat. GT, finding relaxation in cooking, prepared all our meals. As the day wound down, a small chocolate cake with candles emerged. As dusk descended, we gathered around GT and sang happy birthday to him.
While working remotely the following week, Ate Marica, GT, and I enjoyed the cool morning breeze on the backyard patio. I cherished each spoonful of my chia bowl as I listened to the chirping birds and the rustling leaves. Ate Marica prepared coffee and I sipped it slowly. I thought about ichi-go ichi-e and how grateful and fortunate we are to have this sibling bond.
The Beauty of Transience
There’s a Japanese term called ichi-go ichi-e – a phrase that translates to "one time, one meeting" in English. It is a concept rooted in Japanese tea ceremonies. It emphasizes the importance of cherishing every moment and treating each encounter as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that should be savored and appreciated fully.
Over the years, we've had our share of arguments and fights. We've experienced rough patches, grudges, and rivalries. However, with grace and forgiveness, we made room for each other's differences, learned each other's love language, and stayed united, especially in times of need. As we grow older, we’ll continue to navigate through all the transitions together no matter how they look like.
In the early months of the lockdowns, fear arose as I contemplated the possibility of not seeing them again. Months of Zoom calls strengthened our connection, and my heart and mind underwent a shift, amplifying my love for them.
“Siblings are often the longest relationships of our lives,” according to Eileen Kennedy-Moore, author of Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem, She adds, “We can’t redo the past, but we can choose to move forward with our siblings in different ways.”
I know that not everyone has this kind of sibling bond. For some, these relationships are estranged or broken beyond repair. In these situations, people create their own connections outside their bloodline. And, that is ok. I think that what truly matters is whatever relationship works for you.
How about your dear ones? What are your thoughts on sibling relationships or those relationships that feel like family? If you are an only child, do you have friends that you consider like a sibling? Share them in the comments below.
Thank you for sticking with me. See you all next Sunday!
Sounds like a lovely time was had by all. I'm close to my younger sister, but she lives all the way in Germany so we try to stay in touch by talking weekly and also visiting each other once a year. Covid threw a wrench in our plans for a little while but we are making up for lost time!
Such a lovely post, Stella! My brother was my best friend when I was growing up - there are only fifteen months between us, and with no near neighbours we only had each other to play with. Such happy times! We're still close now, although not geographically.